talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
