as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
