I'll bet she douches with gravy.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
