i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
