Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize