I want to walk on stilts...naked
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
