we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
