He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
