so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
