Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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