I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
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