I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
