Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
