i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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