So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
