omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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