So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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