apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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