Plan B is the new Plan A
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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