it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
two words: eviction party
this will be a night to untag.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
