my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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