i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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