Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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