Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
