i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
