You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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