i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
