Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
