Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
