I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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