i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
