I'm so fucking centered right now
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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