so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
