when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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