He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
