Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
