You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
the liver wants what the liver wants
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
