Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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