She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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