Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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