Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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