what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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