So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
zippers are such a cool invention
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
