Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Fuck appropriateness.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize