Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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