just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
