David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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