I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
