no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
