is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
