I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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