is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
