I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize