i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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