Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
