I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
