i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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