i already hear my dad disowning me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
