Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize