Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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