I'm lost and stupid without you.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
