your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
